Grumpy Old Pissants

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Those gasbags who make up the old white men’s party, aka Rethugs, aka, GOP, have decided it would be cool to fuck with all of the unemployed by doing their damn best to make sure you’ll have a nasty holiday season. They failed in giving you a heart attack and you’ll get your extension. But, we here at Five by Five think you should be reminded of just how nasty these old men are!

As GOP Holds Up Unemployment Extension, Nearly 200,000 Lose Their Benefits

Best at bat?

The Phillies and the Yankees have been battling it out to see who is the bestest bunch of guys to whack (or just swing wildly at) a little white leather type of sphere onto a vast green lawn where men in real tight pants fall over each other chasing after it. Ok, that’s not totally what the World Series is about this year, but close enough. But listen, since you’re in NYC today for what could be the decisive Game 6, and since we know you gotta eat while you’re in town, head over to The Prime Burger, named one of the 10 Best Burgers in NYC by Gayot (guy-OH).

The Prime Burger

excuse me sir, your ass is on fire

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We here at Five by Five ain’t got shit to say! The drool hangin from our mouths says it all!

SEMA 2009: Breaker, breaker, we got ourselves a Bandit

…and on and on it goes…

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These two have been suckling at the teet of fame for too damn long! Heck, the only reason we know who they are is because they popped out a bunch of damn babies and couldn’t afford them. Ergo, a show on the boob-toobs. Here’s a little unsolicited advice…shut off the cameras and lock yourselves into a room until you’ve got the whole thing hashed the hell out then sneak out the back door! We’re tired of you!

Part of Kate Gosselin Still Loves Jon

Gift from sun god

We do a helluva a lot of traveling here at Five by Five and we pack a helluva lot of stuff with us when we go. For this reason, we damn near popped an erection when we saw this bag! We don’t really know if there is a sun god/goddess, but we do know that we like this bag!

New Travel Gadget: Neuber Energy Sun Bag

Today’s burgers brought to you by…

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…our good friends over at epicurious! Listen, we really don’t know where you’re gonna be for lunch today, but we do know that you want a damn good burger! Check out the 12 best burgers in America and then hurry and tell us which one ya had!

The best burgers in America

Crazy like a Foxx

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Apparently the good folks of North Carolina decided it would be a good idea to be represented by a clinically insane person and so they elected a Virginia Foxx as their Rep. This woman says some wackadoodle things from the Floor of the United States House of Representatives. Listen y’all, if I was from North Carolina, I’d be embarrassed to admit it! I mean, we here at Five by Five love that beautiful state, but by sending this “missing every damn fry in her happy meal” to represent, ya pretty well screwed yourself!

GOP congresswoman says health care bill scarier than terrorism