Well strip me naked and start dialing. Who knew that we iPhone users liked so much porn. Ok, if you promise not to tell too many people, we’ll let it slip…we like porn and we’re especially stoked when we get that porn on our iPhone. But you didn’t hear it from us!
Study Paints iPhone Users As Porn-Watching Egomaniacs
In an effort to save the children for future exploitation, one Catholic Priest has taken to extreme measures. Basically it’s a “save ’em to love ’em” kind of a gig he’s got goin on! One wonders though if perhaps this dude’s not being just a little bit too obvious!
York’s Planned Parenthood protests a protestor
Those gasbags who make up the old white men’s party, aka Rethugs, aka, GOP, have decided it would be cool to fuck with all of the unemployed by doing their damn best to make sure you’ll have a nasty holiday season. They failed in giving you a heart attack and you’ll get your extension. But, we here at Five by Five think you should be reminded of just how nasty these old men are!
As GOP Holds Up Unemployment Extension, Nearly 200,000 Lose Their Benefits
These two have been suckling at the teet of fame for too damn long! Heck, the only reason we know who they are is because they popped out a bunch of damn babies and couldn’t afford them. Ergo, a show on the boob-toobs. Here’s a little unsolicited advice…shut off the cameras and lock yourselves into a room until you’ve got the whole thing hashed the hell out then sneak out the back door! We’re tired of you!
Part of Kate Gosselin Still Loves Jon
Apparently the good folks of North Carolina decided it would be a good idea to be represented by a clinically insane person and so they elected a Virginia Foxx as their Rep. This woman says some wackadoodle things from the Floor of the United States House of Representatives. Listen y’all, if I was from North Carolina, I’d be embarrassed to admit it! I mean, we here at Five by Five love that beautiful state, but by sending this “missing every damn fry in her happy meal” to represent, ya pretty well screwed yourself!
GOP congresswoman says health care bill scarier than terrorism
On the Greek Island of Cyprus, near the town of Larnaca, is the hottest mess of a house we’ve ever seen. We’re not sure whether to get excited or nauseated…probably a little bit of both. Listen, if you’re looking for a “house” that only Proteus could love, then this is the residence for you!
The AURA Residence
Lou Dobbs, that dotty old half-crazed douche-nozzle who makes a regular bobble-headed appearance over at the CNN and who thinks that brown people are responsible for all the shit on his front lawn, has taken to the airwaves to let people know that real, honest-to-goodness bullets have been sent hurtling in his direction. We hate to sound skeptical…ahhhh hell, no we don’t…we’re skeptical!
Lou Dobbs: Gunshots Fired At Me, My Wife, My House