Category Archives: Pop Culture

Biblically correct porn

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Proving once again that there is a high demand for Biblically correct pornography, National Organization for Marriage douche-nozzle spokesperson, Carrie Prejean has apparently put out a DVD of Biblically correct, and very satisfying solo sexual positions. Single Christian moms the world over thank her for taking the time to instruct them in the Biblically correct approach to self-pleasuring.

Source: Carrie Prejean ‘sex tape’ spurred pageant settlement

Not THAT Martha Washington

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Our good friends over at boingboing.net have gotten us all hot and bothered in their review of Frank Miller and Dave Gibbons new tome The Life And Times Of Martha Washington In The Twenty-First Century. We suspect you’re as excited as we are for a lazy afternoon to curl up with this bit o writing!

Life and Times of Martha Washington: the whole Frank Miller GIVE ME LIBERTY saga

How very Jeffersonian of him

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Sometimes the most amazing little tidbits come flying out of some folks mouths. Lord of the Rings actor, Sir Ian McKellen, has given an interview with the good folks over at Details magazine and well, seems he let stiletto or two come flying out when he opened his mouth. I’m sure this will be upsetting to some of the limp-wristed folks who trade in gay paranoia, but we here at Five by Five have a rather soft spot in our hearts for this little bit of Jeffersonian lunacy.

Q&A With Ian McKellen

excuse me sir, your ass is on fire

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We here at Five by Five ain’t got shit to say! The drool hangin from our mouths says it all!

SEMA 2009: Breaker, breaker, we got ourselves a Bandit

…and on and on it goes…

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These two have been suckling at the teet of fame for too damn long! Heck, the only reason we know who they are is because they popped out a bunch of damn babies and couldn’t afford them. Ergo, a show on the boob-toobs. Here’s a little unsolicited advice…shut off the cameras and lock yourselves into a room until you’ve got the whole thing hashed the hell out then sneak out the back door! We’re tired of you!

Part of Kate Gosselin Still Loves Jon

For Sale – Party of 5 Pad

party of 5 for sale

Back in the 90s, you couldn’t drag our little pimply faces from in front of the boob-toob whenever those poor orphaned Salinger kids were on. Bailey just made me weak in the knees making my poor mother damn near have to put smelling salts under my nose whenever he flashed that toothy grin. Now comes the sad news that the home that those 5 beautiful siblings (really 8 if you count the number of actors needed for Owen) play-like they lived in has been hefted onto the even sadder real estate market. How in the hell those kids afforded to live here is beyond me!

Magnificent Golden Gate Bridge and Bay View Mansion

Heteroflexible

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Straight women are always kvetching that hot men are either gay and/or married. Gay men on the other hand seem always to be bitching that the hot men forever on display are either straight and/or married. Well kids, get ready to add a new wrinkle to the blanket. Looks like flexibility is in! Yay for gumby!

Is “Heteroflexible” the New Gay?